


i could fall, i could fly

by ryneisaterriblefan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheesy, Crying, Cute, First Kiss, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Self-Esteem Issues, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, ahh why do i torture my boys, they just think they’re not good enough for each other, vv slight tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 05:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14846256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryneisaterriblefan/pseuds/ryneisaterriblefan
Summary: Hinata thinks that Tsukishima knows about his crush on him, but he’s just ignoring it.That’s where everything goes wrong.





	i could fall, i could fly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kunimi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunimi/gifts).



> Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ill edit this later hopefully

Kei admittedly is not that much of a brave person.

Hell, he’ll wonder around a store lost without asking for help because he’s too chicken to ask a random person.

So, when he tries to confess to Hinata, everything goes to shit.

Kei had left a note in Hinata’s locker, asking the boy to come after school to the place behind the gym. Of course, he didn’t sign his name, because if he did Hinata would probably laugh in his face and tell him to shove it. He hopes Hinata is stupid enough not to notice his poorly-disguised handwriting.

So now here he is, waiting for Hinata with a heart beating too fast for his liking. Kei isn’t really a fan of emotions and all that crap, so he figures that he should at least tell Hinata, who, in spite of being an idiot, is probably going to be supportive and not be homophobic.

He hopes.

Hinata rounds the corner, and the surprised look on his face (which is way too cute, by the way) turns into one of confusion when he sees Kei leaning against the wall.

Then he frowns. ‘You didn’t call me here to kill me, did you?’

Kei snorts, ‘If I wanted to kill you I would’ve done it ages ago.’

Hinata’s frown disperses, and he replies, ‘Gee, thanks.’

There’s a moment of silence in which Kei’s heart rate picks up again, and Hinata finally breaks it by saying, ‘So, what did you want to tell me?’

Oh god.

He’s going to do it.

‘Hinata,’ Kei starts, turning so that he’s fully facing Hinata.

The other boy cocks his head to the side, and ohgodKeithisisn’tthetimetothinkHinata’scutegetyourassworking -

‘I like you.’

The words come out brash, bold and Kei has never wanted to hit himself in the head with a pot more.

For a moment, it seems like even the birds have stopped chirping, waiting in suspense for Hinata’s answer.

What Kei expects:

  1. Some awkward laughter, a refusal but Hinata says nothing’s going to change between them. That’s the most likely option.
  2. Hinata laughs and somehow get Ennoshita to kick Kei out of the team because he’s homophobic. That’s also likely, but Kei can’t really see Hinata as the kind of guy that would be homophobic.
  3. Hinata returns his feelings. That’s, for obvious reasons, the least likely option, and probably has like a one percent chance of happening.



What Kei doesn’t expect is the way Hinata’s eyes grow wide; the way he seems so totally shocked and surprised; the way his fists clench afterward, head bowing in the same way when he apologized to Daichi after they lost the match against Seijoh.

There’s another moment where no one says anything, but as Kei stares as Hinata’s bowed head - now covering his face - he notices Hinata’s hands clenched so tight the skin’s turning white, and he can’t quite stop the look of surprise on his face.

Hinata has tears running down his cheeks.

Slowly coming closer and raising a hand to Hinata, Kei flinches involuntarily when Hinata lashes his arm out, knocking Kei’s away. ‘Hey, are you - ‘

There are a number of things that Hinata could’ve said in this moment, but what Kei hears is none of them.

‘I thought that,’ Hinata holds back what sounds like a suspiciously choked sob, ‘I thought that you were an asshole, but,’ he finally looks up at Kei, ‘I never thought that you were mean enough to do something like /this./‘

Kei can only watch, eyes wide, as Hinata advances on him.

‘And,’ taking a hold of Kei’s shirt, ‘I thought that you knew, and didn’t care. You know - you’re a /fucking/ asshole,’ Hinata snarls.

‘I thought you weren’t the kind of person to play with anyone’s feelings like that, but guess what?’ Hinata growls, voice now close to breaking, barely holding itself together as Hinata continues, ‘I was fucking /wrong./‘

Kei watches as Hinata releases his hold on him, more tears silently dripping out of him as he almost runs back around the building.

Before he does, though, Hinata turns, and spits out, ‘/I hate you./‘

That - the venom in Hinata’s normally cheerful voice is what makes Kei take a step back, his own tears threatening to spill out at a moment’s notice.

He feels empty. Hollow.

So this is what a broken heart feels like?

It feels like betrayal.

 

Practice is awkward. Stilted.

Everyone notices the tension between Kei and Hinata. The older is resolutely refusing to meet Kei’s eyes, staying as far as he can from Kei.

Kei has fucked up a lot of times in the past, but none of them have compared to this.

Kei really, /really/ fucked up this time.

The fact that Kei’s avoiding even ‘talking’ to Kageyama and Hinata in lieu of insults raises questions from the first years, who are nice enough not to mention anything and carry on like normal, and the third years who are trying to press both Kei and Hinata for answers.

Needless to say, both of them get pretty angry.

 

Kageyama lags behind when they’re walking home, reaching Kei and letting Yamaguchi go up front to catch up to Hinata.

‘What, king?’ Kei tiredly says, but the title is more of a - they will never admit this - fond nickname, and Kageyama only gives him a half-assed glare as he stuffs his hands in his pockets.

After a moment of silent walking, Kageyama finally says, ‘What’s going on?’

Kei knows it’s futile to evade the subject, but says anyway, ‘Nothing.’

‘Hinata isn’t telling me,’ Kageyama says, barreling over Kei’s words as if he hadn’t said anything, ‘And you two haven’t been talking at all.’

‘If Hinata isn’t telling you,’ Kei drawls, ‘What makes you think I will?’

Kageyama frowns, brows furrowing, before he evenly replies, ‘Because you both are too focused on your problems and it’s distracting you from volleyball.’

Kei snorts, but he can’t help the sort of fond grin creeping up his face - this is probably one of the things that will forever be constant.

Kageyama waits for Kei to crack, and when he finally does, it’s with a heavy sigh and lagging even further behind the group to make sure that no one hears anything.

‘I confessed to Hinata,’ Kei says shortly, looking straight ahead, ‘but he didn’t take it very well.’

With that, he turns his head, and finds Kageyama glaring at something.

‘Dumbass,’ he spits out, and then turns to Kei, ‘What exactly did you say?’

‘I told him I liked him.’

‘Nothing else?’

‘Nothing else.’

Kageyama curses, hands tightening on the straps of his bag as he looks, probably at Hinata, with a glare, ‘That idiot.’

Turning to him again, Kageyama says, ‘You’re an idiot too,’ and speedwalks away from him, probably to Hinata.

‘Takes one to know one, king,’ he calls, and receives a middle finger in return.

And within the duration of four steps, Yamaguchi, like magic, has reappeared by his side.

And the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, ‘You’re an idiot.’

Kei needs a break.

He snorts, ‘The king told me that, but if you’re saying it I guess it must be true.’ Even as he says it, there’s a pang in Kei’s chest.

Yamaguchi’s face softens a bit.

‘Hey,’ he says, nudging Kei a bit, ‘I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was that you’re too dense to notice Hinata’s feelings for you and denying it whenever I try to point it out.’

Kei doesn’t reply, and Yamaguchi, somehow senses his question floating in the air.

‘Hinata told me while you were chatting with Kageyama.’

They walk like that the rest of the way, getting their meat buns and preparing to go home.

Just as they’re standing up, Kei catches Yamaguchi’s sleeve.

The statement goes unspoken but Yamaguchi gets it anyways, and nods.

/Come home with me today?

Of course./

 

Kei barely manages to close the door to his bedroom shut before Yamaguchi pounces on him, wrapping him in a bear hug and refusing to let go even as Kei sighs and picks him up to sit on the bed.

They don’t say anything, but after some moments, Kei lies down, pulling Yamaguchi with him so that they can be more comfortable.

After some more minutes, Yamaguchi lets go, and Kei does too - reluctantly - as Yamaguchi removes his glasses, taking Kei’s head into his chest and whispering, ‘It’s okay,’ over and over.

Kei doesn’t even notice that hot tears are streaming from his eyes until Yamaguchi’s wiping them away, and - it’s like a dam breaks.

Kei cries, hands wrapping around Yamaguchi and seeking warmth in his best friend as his eyes leak like a faucet, chest hurting and limbs aching as the scene from earlier replays in his mind, terrifyingly vivid and getting worse and worse every time.

‘Why?’ He gasps out, his voice slightly muffled by Yamaguchi’s shirt. ‘Why do I even like him?’

Above him, Yamaguchi says nothing.

His tears are clouding his vision by now, and Yamaguchi’s comforting warmth is the only thing grounding him right now. ‘Why did he react that way?’

‘Fuck,’ he repeats over and over again, hands trembling and trying to focus on Yamaguchi’s warm hands slowly stroking his back.

‘Hey,’ his best friend says softly, and it’s a miracle Kei hears him over the roaring in his head, ‘It’ll be okay.’

Yamaguchi, like the sweet angel he is, holds Kei close and whispers that, over and over again, rubbing soothing circles into his back and just comforting him in general by being there.

They fall asleep like that.

 

Kei is a light sleeper - that’s a well known fact - and Yamaguchi can sleep pretty heavily; he probably wouldn’t notice if the building was torn apart into pieces.

Anyways, Kei’s a light sleeper.

Which, of course, directs to the current situation - where he’s fucked up.

/Again./

Life really needs to calm down and give him a break.

Kei had been woken up by the sound of the door opening, the old hinges creaking as the person pushes from the outside.

He’s blinking the sleep from his eyes and sitting up, not registering what’s happening until he hears a sharp gasp coming from the doorway.

Kei whips his head around, eyes simultaneously widening and trying to squint to see who’s in his room.

Fuck.

Even without his glasses, Kei would’ve recognized Hinata’s fiery orange hair anywhere.

Kei scrambles to put on his glasses, during which Hinata just stares as him with something akin to disbelief in his eyes.

There’s a tense moment of silence between them.

‘So this is all a joke, huh?’ HInata’s voice comes out, shaky, hand gripping the doorknob the flesh across his knuckles are drawn white, ‘You went that far to play a prank on me?’

Kei’s lost, and he’s sure that his eyes are wider than they’ve ever been as Hinata’s brown ones harden, and he slams the door.

Leaving Kei with more questions than ever and a heart that’s starting to hurt again.

Then something shifts on the bed.

/Fuck./

Kei looks down, with growing horror.

Fuck.

He’d forgotten about Yamaguchi. Who is currently snuggling against Kei’s side.

Crap. Crap crap crap fuck that’s why Hinata looked at him like that - fuck he needs to get out of here /right now/ -

In his haste to get out of Yamaguchi’s hold, Kei almost falls flat on his face, barely saving himself by using his arm.

Fuck, he needs to apologize to Hinata /right now/ -

Without sparing Yamaguchi a second glance, Kei takes off, running down the stairs, waving a hasty goodbye to his mother before dashing out the street and whipping his head both ways to search for Hinata.

He sees something orange out of the corner of his eye, and runs after it.

It does turn out to be Hinata, though Kei’s already panting by the time he almost catches up to Hinata at the park.

/damn,/ he’s fast.

Kei regrets slacking off in training at times like this.

Nevertheless, Kei manages to tackles Hinata to the grass, thanking his longer legs as Hinata struggles to get away from underneath him.

‘Stay /still/,’ Kei says - almost desperate - as he successfully manages to pin Hinata to the ground. The shorter boy glares up at him, though the effect is dampened by the tracks of tears on his cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.

After what seems like an eternity, Hinata finally goes still eyes darting anywhere but Kei’s as he says, voice shaking, ‘If you want to make fun of me, you - ‘ he holds back a sob (Kei’s heart pangs) - ‘you can do it tomorrow.’

‘/Hinata/,’ Kei demands, shifting so that he’s straddling the shorter boy and pinning his wrists above his head. Hinata, thankfully, doesn’t really make an attempt to try to escape, body staying limp as Kei manhandles him. ‘/Look/ at me.’

Hinata sniffles, head turning even further away from Kei’s eyes.

‘Hinata,’ Kei /pleads/, ‘please.’

Hinata adamantly refuses his request.

‘Shouyou.’

And then - only then - Hinata whips his head around, meeting Kei’s eyes.

Kei sighs, bowing his head a bit so that he’s looking at Hinata’s chest rather than his face.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says, raising his eyes up to meet Hinata’s, ‘I don’t know what I did to make you sad - or angry - but I’m sorry, I’ll try not to make you uncomfortable, and hopefully it’ll pass.’

Hinata doesn’t answer for a long moment, and when he does it’s soft, questioning, ‘What’ll pass?’

Kei wants to stab himself, but he swallows his embarrassment and awkwardness, and says, looking Hinata straight in the eyes, ‘My crush on you.’

‘You mean you weren’t playing a prank on me?’ Hinata interjects, looking up at Kei with wide eyes, ‘You weren’t trying to be mean?’

‘You’re an idiot,’ Kei declares, ‘for thinking that I would play with someone’s feelings like that. I know I’m an asshole, but I wouldn’t go something like that.’

Hinata’s silent, and when he speaks again, there are tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, ‘I thought you knew.’

‘Huh?’

‘I thought you knew I had a crush on you and just ignored it, because everybody kept telling me I was too obvious.’

It’s Kei’s turn for his eyes to grow wide, staring down at the shorter boy with no masks in his eyes. ‘What?’

HInata sniffles, eyes sliding away from Kei’s as he mumbles, ‘I like you, you tall bastard.’

Kei’s brain is officially fried by this point, and he says the first thing that comes into his mind. ‘Kids shouldn’t swear.’

Crickets chirping.

Then Hinata laughs, bright and loud and cheerful, and Kei gazes at him, full of wonder and sincerity. God, it’s like he’s in love. Kei loosens his grip on Hinata’s wrist a little.

Hinata’s still laughing, though there are still tears in his eyes - which Kei hopefully thinks isn’t of sadness anymore - and looking up at him adoringly, like Kei’s the best thing to have ever walked on the earth.

It feels like floating.

And before he knows it, Kei’s lips are on Hinata’s.

His laughter ceases immediately, and Kei can almost feel the surprise radiating off Hinata the first few seconds into the kiss.

Then Hinata presses back.

It’s gentle, hesitant - understandable, it’s only their first time - but he wouldn’t trade it for anything, Kei thinks, it makes him feel warm and bubbly inside and /oh god/ Yamaguchi’s going to laugh at him for even /thinking/ that.

A small laugh bubbles in his throat, for some unknown reason, and Kei has to pull away to prevent from laughing and most likely slobbering onto Hinata’s mouth.

As Kei’s laughs grow louder and more frequent, Hinata stares at him with a smile, full of wonder and adoration and /god/ Kei doesn’t deserve this sweet sunshine angel in his life.

When he’s managed to - somewhat - get himself under control, Hinata says, unexpectedly, ‘Your laugh is really nice when you’re not taunting people.’

‘Gee, thanks.’

HInata laughs, and wriggles underneath Kei, telling him to get off so he can sit up.

 

Later, they’re on the park swing, Kei rolling his eyes as he pushes Hinata back and forth.

‘Y’know,’ Hinata says, turning his head around to look at Kei, ‘you never said you liked me back.’

‘I kissed you.’

‘Meanieshima! You know that’s not what I meant!’

Kei suddenly stops the swing, abrupt and almost making Hinata lurch off the swing. ‘Well,’ he drawls, Hinata looking up at him in an angry - but frankly cute - pout, ‘I guess I’ll just leave you here then, and you won’t find someone else to push you swing for you - ‘

Hinata shrieks, grabbing onto Kei’s shirt, and laughing all the while, ‘No!’

Kei grins, and bends down, pressing a quick kiss to Hinata’s cheek.

Hinata’s face lights up in a furious shade of pink, and Kei can barely hold himself back from squishing his cheeks together. ‘You tall bean,’ Hinata says, trying to sound heated, but it just comes out as an indignant squeak, ‘You did that on purpose, didn’t you?’

Kei only smirks at him.

They stay like that for a while, unmoving, as a steady breeze blows through the park, ruffling his hair and mussing it up even more than it already is.

‘Hey,’ Hinata says suddenly, voice turning serious, ‘When I came into your room - ‘

‘We do that sometimes,’ Kei interrupts him, ‘since we were kids, Yamaguchi and I slept together. It’s a comfort thing, I guess.’

Hinata nods, frown making its way onto his lips that Kei bends down once again to kiss away.

This time, though, Hinata surprises him by lifting his arms and locking them around Kei’s neck.

‘You’re now only allowed to do that with me,’ Hinata murmurs against his lips.

Kei can only murmur his assent before he catches Hinata’s lips between his own again.

 

‘So.’

‘Shut up, Yamaguchi.’

Yamaguchi giggles - that traitor - and tells Kei, ‘Well, at least I don’t have to put up with your whining anymore.’

Kei raises his eyebrow, ‘Yeah, so grow a pair and ask the king out already.’

Yamaguchi hits him with a pillow.

 

The third years had over a stack of money to the first years as soon as Hinata and Kei walk into the gym holding hands.

**Author's Note:**

> So if it wasn’t clear, the third years have graduated and ennoshita’s the new captain, there are new first years on the team.
> 
> My tumblr’s ryneisaterriblefan feel free to shout at me
> 
> EDIT: K SMTHS WRONG WITH MY PHONE/BROWSER I CANT EDIT IT IM SRY ILL DO IT LATER WITH MY COMPUTER


End file.
